I’m excited to be part of another group show with a photo that I took while visiting a good friend in Denmark. If you’re at the opening tonight, find me and say hello.

This is all icing on the cake, since the workshop alone should be pretty transformative for me and is the sole reason I’m going. However…

I was reminded that 6 years ago I took the photo that I was most nervous to take. While at Katz’s Deli (a famous New York deli that you probably have heard of), I was captivated by our waiter. I had a film camera with me and a few frames left on the roll, but I didn’t think I had the guts to take his photo.

I sat through the meal feeling nervous, knowing that I had to do it. When he was clearing our plates, I finally asked, claiming that I was a “photographer,” which I’m not sure I believed at the time.

He dragged me over to the meat counter and struck a pose. I took three frames and had to wait until I got home to develop the film. One of the photos worked, thankfully.

I’m going to bring a print of this photo back to Katz’s Deli to see if he still works there and give it to him. I’m still grateful for the inspiration he gave me on that day and want to say thanks. If he’s not there, I hope that someone remembers his name.

Here are the other two frames.

UPDATE (March 2013)

I made it to Katz’s Deli with my print in hand. Everyone lit up when they saw the photo and told me that his name is William, but he no longer works there. I was ushered to the back so I could show the photo to the manager, who told me more about William. I gave him the print and we talked for a little while before he insisted that I sit down for a free meal.

I’m really glad I followed through with this. It was a pretty rewarding experience and I still hope to track down William someday.

Ostend, Belgium

Paris

Antwerp, Belgium

Amsterdam

Paris

Antwerp, Belgium

Amsterdam

Paris

Amsterdam

Amsterdam

To say I was anxious would be an understatement. There were sleepless nights and dreams of rushing around, desperate to find photographs. I had many talks with friends about feeling like I had lost my “eye” or even my passion for photography. I went so far as to consider not bringing a camera at all. Thankfully, I did.

Two days into the trip I woke up early to walk around Amsterdam with my camera. While I had fun taking photos and like that the camera gives me a reason to explore, I was taking boring photos. The best moments were when strangers stopped to talk to me. I realized that I wanted to do something more than snapshots or postcard style images. I wanted to find inspiration for a project to work on. I even wrote in my journal that day about being bored with single photos.

For the next couple of days I used my camera a lot, mostly documenting my trip and only occasionally feeling drawn to something I truly wanted to photograph. I had 100 gigabytes of CF cards with me, so there was no risk of overshooting. I kept at it, trying to find the inspiration to go deeper.

After another day in Amsterdam and a week of bouncing around Belgium (an amazing country, by the way), I was in Paris for the first time in my life and this is where things really changed.

From my journal:

I took a photo today that I’m happy with. It’s of a street vendor with Eiffel Tower keychains. I went outside of my comfort zone to ask (signal) if I could take a photo. I have to start doing that more.

There are no reasons to keep taking “safe” photos.

I can’t say exactly why I was drawn to take the below photo, but the pull was strong. I knew the instant I took it that I had something. No matter what else happened, I had a photo that I liked and that I shot with purpose. For me, this moment made all of my anxiety and the entire trip worth it.

Paris, France

The next day I took another photo of a different street vendor.

Paris, France

That was it. I was leaving Paris for Copenhagen the next morning. I had two photos and the start of a project that I can’t let go.

Without knowing it at the time, I had found the inspiration for a project. It seems crazy and overwhelming, but I can’t stop thinking about these illegal street vendors, many of whom are immigrants, selling tokens of a place where they do not seem welcome. I want an in with them. I want some access to explore their lives and interactions. I want to know who they are. I want to dig deeper and see where it leads.

Sitting in the airport, I wrote in my journal again:

When leaving on this trip, I felt empty with regard to photography. I truly thought my passion for it was gone. It is not.

I’ve been back in Minneapolis for a few months and am starting to see things come together. I’m talking about this project with anyone who will listen. I’m getting offers of help from friends. I’m saving to go back to Paris in April and have been working toward continuing this project in a real way.

It’s important to me that I go back on my own dime one more time before asking for any kind of funding or other financial help. Because of the travel involved, this will be an expensive project and I need to know for myself that I can pull it off and have the will to follow through.

Like a sign that I have to move forward with this, an opportunity came up that I had to take. In two weeks, one of my heroes, David Alan Harvey, is hosting a workshop at his Brooklyn loft on the topic of making books, fundraising, projects, etc. His amazing book was one of my favorites of 2012. I know this is going to challenge and inspire me in ways I can’t yet imagine.

I’m excited and terrified in the best possible way.

Ostend, Belgium

Here’s the photo that I’ll have in the show. It’s one that I took on my recent trip to Europe and has sparked an idea for a photo project that I’m researching. More on that later.

Paris, France

I printed this at 12″ x 18″ to show lots of detail and Hang It did a great job with the framing. I’m looking forward to seeing it on the wall with all of the other fantastic work in the show.

If you come out to the opening, please find me and say hello.

The person I worked with yesterday brought along her LED hula hoop. I wasn’t completely sure how to shoot it, so we blacked out my studio and shot this silhouette with a one second exposure. It was most certainly a team effort and controlled accident, but I think this is nice.